Am I such a bad person to feel and think this way?
C’mon. I’ve been as patient, giving, and self-sacrificing as I possibly can. And even when I think I’m not, other people tell me I am. And I am sincerely happy to help. Yes, helping makes me happy. And proud. It gives me a sense of self worth.
But I am human. I am not a robot. I am not a god. At some point in time, I will be in need of help. And every time I did in the past, like today, the people I needed help from – the people whom I have helped (numerous times) in the past – were just not there.
And this made me mad. Very mad. Mad enough to not want to be around them, today nor in the very near future. Mad enough to be selfish, to lie and and not to share supplies they were running out of.
I need to shake this angry, vindictive feeling off. Not so much for them, as for myself. I don’t want to be like them.
To each his/her due. And whatever is "due" a person, that’s Somebody else’s decision to make, not mine.
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