A “Huh?!” thing happened on my way to and in church today.
Suddenly found myself caught in the middle of two vehicles on a 25 mph, one-way, backstreet. The van in front of me was obviously in no hurry to get to where it needs to go. The Camry behind me was the total opposite.
At the very first stop sign, I heard a honk coming from the Camry. Looked at my rearview mirror and saw a lady driver. Long black, wavy hair. Deep-set eyes. Well defined cheek bones. One can easily see the exasperation on her face. She obviously needed to be someplace else, now!
As soon as all 3 of us cars passed the stop sign, I slowed down allowing the Camry to go ahead of me. With anticipation, I watched at what the Camry would do next; seeing that the van was obviously not to be bothered. The Camry tailgated, then eventually overtook the van and sped at about 40 mph on this 25 mph street. That was the last I saw of the Camry. Or so I thought.
I arrived just in time for church. I was getting into the flow of the service, oblivious to everything around and outside of me, when I happened to look at the reader. And there I saw. “Long black, wavy hair. Deep-set eyes. Well defined cheek bones.” The Camry! I mean, the Camry’s lady driver!
Well, what do you know? Who would think that an aggressive, offensive driver could actually be a church server?! Then again, why not? Told you already, we are not our god.
So, why do we subscribe to a religion? Albeit, the reasons are aplenty. But whatever they are – the need to uphold tradition or the need to meet new people, to be part of the community, to belong, to be grounded and centered – there is one word that threads it all together: NEED.
Obviously, where there is a need, there is imperfection. And where there is imperfection, there is a search. Essentially, all things equal, with the notion that God is good and God is perfect, the need and the search end with the notion of a God. God then is the end. And where do people normally start their search for God? Religion*. Religion, and all activities related to it therefore, is not the end. It is a means; a means that will hopefully lead to the fulfillment of the need.
Thus, don’t be surprised to see us not-so-perfect and struggling individuals there. We are there precisely because we are imperfect and we are struggling. We are in need of answers and healing. Of course, not everyone is healed. It all depends on one’s belief that one’s choice of religion is what the doctor ordered, on one’s resolve to stick to the prescription**, and on one’s faith that he/she will be healed and, once healed, will be in a place where God is. A place of goodness and perfection.
If we are our God, then we wouldn't be in search would we? We would be perfect then, won't we? No, we are not our God. Nor are we a mirror image of Him. Far from it. Not until we start behaving like Him.
* Religion is as much a means as materialism – drugs, alcohol, sex, money, fame, power – is a means. And don't we know where both religiosity and materialism, if taken to the extreme and, worse, in combination, end? One need only think September 11 to know.
** Yes, what is uncool about religion is that it requires discipline, yet it is not a cure-all. One has to really believe that it is in the grind that we get our imperfections polished and our needs eventually fulfilled … a step at a time, one day at a time.
Showing posts with label judging others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judging others. Show all posts
Sunday, September 5
Monday, August 16
“Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone”
I am not perfect. Never had the illusion that I was, am, and will ever be perfect. And because I know I am not perfect - that I err – I make an effort to give people slack for their own errors and imperfections.
That is why I just blew off the roof when my friend went ballistic against her sister. It’s not that I condone what my friend’s sister is doing. What I wasn’t feeling was my friend beating up her sister for something my friend herself has done – having an affair! Not just once, in the seven years that I’ve known her.
Not one to mince words, I told my friend exactly what was on my mind. And this was what my friend had to say about her sister: “Her case is different than mine. She’s doing this just to entertain herself. I know her husband. He’s good looking. He’s intelligent. He’s nice. He’s a good person. And my sister agrees. And she says that she loves him. That is why I am furious. She is risking losing what is good in her life.”
My friend has a point. But it still didn’t feel right. It felt like she was now justifying her own affairs. I know her husband and I wouldn’t have a husband like him. But spouses’ flaws, whether real or imagined, are they reasons to have affairs? Are they reasons or are they excuses -- excuses for one’s own flaws?
If a relationship is not working out, if a partner is not working out, wouldn’t the more decent thing to do be to go separate ways (temporarily or permanently) before “exploring people” and having affairs? Isn’t it a sign of one’s own weakness to be having affairs while lingering in a supposedly dysfunctional relationship because your partner makes threats, because you want to have the best of all worlds, or because you need a back up plan as you can’t handle being alone on your own?
I guess I’ll never know the answers until I am in such a situation myself. And believe me, being in that situation is not in my shortlist of dreams and wishes. Till then, I will just continue giving people the slack that I hope will be accorded me when it is my turn to need it.
That is why I just blew off the roof when my friend went ballistic against her sister. It’s not that I condone what my friend’s sister is doing. What I wasn’t feeling was my friend beating up her sister for something my friend herself has done – having an affair! Not just once, in the seven years that I’ve known her.
Not one to mince words, I told my friend exactly what was on my mind. And this was what my friend had to say about her sister: “Her case is different than mine. She’s doing this just to entertain herself. I know her husband. He’s good looking. He’s intelligent. He’s nice. He’s a good person. And my sister agrees. And she says that she loves him. That is why I am furious. She is risking losing what is good in her life.”
My friend has a point. But it still didn’t feel right. It felt like she was now justifying her own affairs. I know her husband and I wouldn’t have a husband like him. But spouses’ flaws, whether real or imagined, are they reasons to have affairs? Are they reasons or are they excuses -- excuses for one’s own flaws?
If a relationship is not working out, if a partner is not working out, wouldn’t the more decent thing to do be to go separate ways (temporarily or permanently) before “exploring people” and having affairs? Isn’t it a sign of one’s own weakness to be having affairs while lingering in a supposedly dysfunctional relationship because your partner makes threats, because you want to have the best of all worlds, or because you need a back up plan as you can’t handle being alone on your own?
I guess I’ll never know the answers until I am in such a situation myself. And believe me, being in that situation is not in my shortlist of dreams and wishes. Till then, I will just continue giving people the slack that I hope will be accorded me when it is my turn to need it.
Related articles by Zemanta
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)