My Fervent Prayer

Have you ...

... ever been in a love-hate relationship with someone who is a fixture in your life?

... ever "hated" the person enough that you knew growing up what you DO NOT want to be?

... ever "hated" the person enough that you started rebelling inside and out, and started becoming cold and withdrawn?

"Hate" is such a strong word, but I can not think of any other word which best describes that strong feeling of utter disgust. Yes, I had this repulsive feeling in me while growing up.

And did you ever ...

... just literally wake up one day and find this "hate" feeling gone and in its place instead is the feeling of warmth, tenderness, and protectiveness; of love and gratitude, because you realize that the person you "hated" is but a product of so much anger, hurt and pain?  And that all the person really did was to love you fiercely, thinking that her way of caring will protect you from the people and the things that crushed and calloused her? 

I have.

And as I lulled myself to sleep last, I couldn't help but cry. Why? Because this person, my Mama, in her old age is living alone!

She says she misses us all. But when she hears of all the crime and suffering in our country, she's only too glad that we have all left. She says that knowing we are in safer countries with far better opportunities makes the loneliness all worth it. 

I know this sounds morose, but I fervently pray that she will not pass on alone. She deserves much, much more than that! She is the ultimate mother hen – always there for everyone, sheltering everyone under her wings, making everyone’s problems her own. I BEG, BEG to be there for her, with her when her time to rest comes.