Thursday, September 9


Now, before I write about the EX person, let me write about THE person in my life. A man who, by his actions, molded the person I am and defined the person that I aim to become. A religious man who never quoted from any sacred book. He gave advice, but never preached. A man who talked by listening, who loved by acting. He didn’t say much, yet when he did, people listened. Because the little that he did say, he meant. His were words that, richly clothed with experience, came from the heart. This man, my Papa, he passed away 4 years ago. And I miss him so, especially now as I go thru dark moments.

I can’t help but think sometimes whether my anger is rooted in Papa’s demise. In all sincerity though, my answer is “no”. I am not mad that he “left”. I am mad -- or maybe dead-scared? -- at the events that happened after. Events that made me realize that the person, whom I thought would fill in Papa's shoes, was not up to the challenge.

And here the anger begins, I think .....  After all, anger sometimes is really just fear disguised.


Anonymous said...

That sounded like your papa was a wonderful man. It just seems like all of the good people leave this world too soon. It is sad that he is gone and I am sorry for your lost.

Filling someone's shoes is easier said than done. I mean, there is nothing anyone can do to bring anyone back but at least, the memories of that loved person will still be there and perhaps, you can use those memories to give you some strength and some experiences in your life.

SAM said...

Thanks, torchic44.

Yes, thinking of the man my Papa was and what he stood for does give me guidance and strength.

Better Man said...

I totally agree with torchic44 that your Papa was a great man. I really feel your pain as when I lost my father, who gave me the strength to keep living, the hole left in my heart I thought I could never fill again and I felt lost. In my case I have my beautiful wife who supports me now. But the hole left in my heart has not been filled and probably never will. One thing that has helped me deal with the loss is that when you think of your Papa, bring to mind the happy times that you had with him. This is will take time to learn, but remembering the happy times will bring honour and admiration to his life.

Being the person that your Papa help mould you into will keep his memory alive. Keep your chin up and please keep writing your blog. Thank you for replying to my blog.

SAM said...

Thank you, Better Man. I can see it now. You will be as good a father to your children as our fathers have been to us. Lucky them!

Also, this exchange of ours inspired a project. Check out the new Tab I created. Eventually, I will customize one for my family. Hope you like it.